As the Beatles preached in their 1970’s single album, “Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.” How do you let a close friend know that they are making a mistake? Are you upfront and open about the problem? Do you let something carry on for so long that the conversation finally pours out of your mouth with frustration and anger and spirals out of control? Or are you the type of friend who holds their breath and says nothing until the friend has dug a hole for him/herself without even realizing they were doing anything wrong? There are some things in life that you can and should let pass you by for the other person to figure out on their own but there are also times when that friend could use some good, straight advice in a way that doesn’t sound condescending. We’ll call this section ‘straight talk’ and give instances when you should “let it be” or not let it be.
- Your girlfriend is frying her curly hair everyday with a straightener/dying it way too often: It’s ok for someone to use the chameleon tactic to disguise their natural hair’s color or style but that chameleon could turn into an unruly dragon if there aren’t regulations. Try dropping subtle hints to her like “I miss seeing your pretty curls/waves” or “Oh you should try this great leave-in conditioner but you can’t use heat on your hair for a week! It worked great for me!” Letting her think you are looking out for her from personal experience will make her feel that you are being honest and helpful rather than harsh.
- Your friend is seeing a guy/girl that you don’t get good vibes from and could mean trouble or heartbreak: Try to let this one be for a while. If you are noticing negative behavior rubbing off from the significant other to your friend, just give them enough space to figure out what they want. Nobody wants to be nagged about possible love choices. If there are no improvements in the next few months, sit your friend down and get them to openly talk about aspects of their relationship and determine if it’s healthy or hindering before taking further action.
- Your friend is mooching: You’re generous enough, letting friends wear clothes or borrow makeup or eat your food. But when it gets to the point that it’s taking a toll on your budget or wardrobe, it’s time to put them in their place and let them know that you don’t appreciate them treating your possessions and belongings like their own. Suggest that they buy their own versions of whatever they are mooching off of you.
(Image borrowed from sheenalashay.com)